Interruption... something wrong.

Shortly after my last post I started to have a relapse of something that happened a couple months ago. At that time I called 911. My hands started to curl up and my heart was racing... and I just felt wrong. The first time it happened the paramedics told me I was close to passing out.

Upon talking to Andy this afternoon and telling him what was going on, he said I didn't sound right and literraly ordered me not to drive B to ballet... he came home and did it instead even though that made her a bit late. I had some Ezekiel bread with butter, ate a banana, and took a Xanax in the meantime. Things are still not ok, though a bit better... he says I sound better. He is playing at the river w/ J while waiting for B to get done with her class. I just called and asked him to pick me up some Wendy's chili... that is a direct source of protein and I will find out if that helps. I am 1/2 pound less than I was this morning also. I cannot lose weight this rapidly... I shouldn't lose weight to begin with.

I took my BP and it is still low but not too low, 109/80. My heart rate was high though. I don't know if it is an anxiety/panic attack coupled with not enough of something or not.

I hate not understanding what is happening. The truth is, I didn't really sleep last night due to a last minute staffing request for my business that I was worried about. The Virginia Tech tragedy has made my business that much more busy and we have a big event this weekend. Praise God I am blessed with amazing employees and have everything is staffed now, but the stress of the events this weekend coupled with the wedding this weekend, and family coming I think is affecting me even though it is good stress. I am figuring out my new reality these days. I really only had about 3 hours of sleep last night and my tendency to just go without remembering to eat right is probably playing a big part into whatever is happening to me.

I want to stay true to this experiment, but I don't want to be dangerous. Something is wrong right now, and the only thing I can guess is that I am lacking in something. My hands, feet, and arms are a bit tingly still, and my hands still want to curl up.... I am going to eat whatever I think I need tonight and try to get a good night sleep. Tomorrow is a new day.